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So I spent the weekend at home. I really needed it, and it was pretty great.
I caught a train at 11:17 on Friday morning, after Euro. I tried to pack light this time ^-^ On the ride, I was able to completely finish my Euro essay/sermon about Charlemagne.
It was about 2:30 when I got in, and Jesson and Mum both met me at Newark Penn Station, where we wandered around and grabbed some lunch [I don't eat breakfast on Fridays, so that was good].
After that, Jesson had a chem lab, and I was still hungry, having not really eaten when we got lunch because I was promised an awesome early dinner. Mum and I drove back home, but the car was a little broken and the back door wouldn't shut all the way, so it was beeping the whole ride home. Mum was not amused. So after we got home, we stopped at the gas station and waited there for a really long time to see if they could fix the door, and they did. And then we were off to dinner!
We drove to Pane Vino, and I sort of really love that place ♥ Mum and I talked about Drew and stuff, and I got a pretty positive reaction from her that night, which made me optimistic. This opinion she held would change by Sunday afternoon.
After dinner, we went to Borders and "made out like bandits" as the saying goes. I can't believe it's closing! That's really unfair. That whole shopping centre is gone now - first Circuit City, previously my electronics store of choice, then Linens 'N Things, for those days when you didn't feel like driving all the way up to Bed Bath and Beyond, then Old Navy, one of my favourite clothing stores [luckily there's one in the mall], and finally, Borders, one of the best stores of all time. Yeah, angry face. So I bought some really cheap movies, books, and CDs: The Producers [old one, with Gene Wilder], and Much Ado About Nothing [Kenneth Brannagh, Robert Sean Leonard]; Cyrano de Bergerac - I hope it's a good translation lol; Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack, and The Rite of Spring and Petrushka by Stravinsky. Also some chocolates.
Finally, that evening, I called up Vigg and Jesson and we all went to see The Wolfman, with Benicio del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, and Hugo Weaving ♥♥♥ You'd think that with a cast like that the movie would be AMAZING, and it could have been. The acting - except SPOILER ALERT Benicio's death - was phenomenal by all parties, and the story, though slowly paced, was intriguing and gripping. And then there were fight scenes. The CGI was awful and the wolf prostetics looked like Jean Cocteau's 1946 La Belle et la Bête. It's 2010 now...
Not kidding.
And then we all went to our respective homes. Upon dropping Vigg off, we made tentative plans for the next night to see a movie, but that never happened. Back home, I online scrabbled with Vigg and DavidLi until I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.
So on Saturday I woke up at 8:15 because Mum told me she was leaving at 8:30. She didn't, but I said goodbye to her and went back to sleep. When I finally woke up again, it was about 10:30, I believe. I watched Jeopardy! recordings and I filled in a survey, and I also walked the dogs and spent some time dilly-dallying on the computer. I had a bowl of Raisin Bran for breakfast/lunch/meal, and I did some work.
Later, I called Dan, and we decided to go to a Vietnamese restaurant for dinner and then to go roller skating from 8-10. So I started asking other people if they wanted to come, too, but I didn't get many positive replies. I fed and walked the dogs, and then I went to pick Dan and Ying up, and we went. The service at the restaurant was pretty slow, and Dan said that the soup wasn't even that good. It was 9 before we got to go roller skating, but that was okay. It was amusing because Ying hadn't been in a really long time and they didn't have any blades in Dan's size so he had to get skates; watching them wobble around was SUPER FUN.
After that, we dropped Ying off and picked up Jesson. Still hungry, we went to the Golden Touch Diner. I got pancakes, Jesson got buffalo wings, and Dan got a super awesome Belgian Waffle Royale. I also had hot chocolate. Good meal!
We went back to my house and watched Sleepy Hollow, but Jesson had to leave very soon into it. Dan and I stuck out the rest of the movie, but we were very tired, and then I drove him home. I probably went right to sleep as soon as I got back. It was nice that no one was home, because I could sleep with my door open and let all the dogs in and out as they pleased. Most of them stayed on my bed the whole night, which is always adorable :3
On Sunday, Darcy kept coming in and purring and sleeping on my bed or on my stomach, but at one point Pippin growled at him and he never came back in again. When Mum got home, all the dogs left my room, and though I wanted to sleep more, I couldn't fall back asleep. I decided to take a really long, nice shower, the kind you don't get in college, and then I made the mistake of blow drying my hair. Oh, is it the eighties?
Mum and I went to Staples, where I bought such exciting things as pencil lead, rubber bands, post-it notes, and tape! And then we had brunch at the Original Pancake House, even though the line was SO LONG. The crêpes were great, as usual [not real crêpes, but still really good for whatever they are]. We then went to Marshall's to buy a small weekend bag [I'm sick of either bringing my stuff home in a large suitcase or in a plastic bag], and then we bought bubble tea at Kam Man ♥.
We had only a short bit of time at home before my train was supposed to leave at 4:25. We got to the train station early, only to find that the train was approximately 1:45 late! AAAAAH. We sat in the station for two hours before the train came in - it left at 6:24, almost exactly two hours after it was supposed.
The train ride was interesting. I was in the quiet car all by myself, and the woman in front of me's phone went off. And then it went off again and she answered it. Then some jerk came over to me and said, "This is the quiet car; cell phone use is prohibited." He wasn't a conductor or anything, just some jerk. I meekly informed him, "I'm not the one on the phone, she is," gesturing to the woman in front of me, but he didn't say anything or care. He's one of those guys who like to pick on younger people to make themselves feel good, but he wouldn't dare confront an older person like the woman in front of me. He didn't even apologise. I bet he's a high school teacher. Well, seeing as I was having a pretty bad day, I started crying, by no fault of my own; I really couldn't help it and I did all I could to stop, but not after many tears rolled down my face. I hope he saw, that jerk. In New York a bunch of people got on the train, including this woman who was sitting next to me who wouldn't stop talking to me, despite being on the quiet car, despite the fact that I was reading The Prince, and despite the fact that my headphones were in. Annoying! And she wasn't even getting off until after me. Sigh.
So my train came in at 9:30 instead of 7:30, and I waited in the cold for half an hour for a taxi to show up. What a great evening.
That same night, I also found out that my roommate is sick with a stomach bug that according to the doctor is only contagious if we're sharing cups, etc., but according to the Internet is very contagious. Which brings me to where I am today, Tuesday: I'm sitting on the couch in the common room upon which I've just slept. I've barely been in my room for two days. YAY.
Eighteen days until Spring Break.
I was listening to Pandora, and my station is fairly complex by now - sort of like my crazy iPod - so I get a lot of weird songs that I end up "thumbs downing".
Tonight, a particular song came on called "I Can't Own Her" by XTC. I thought, now that's a good concept for a song! I could really like this song. So I looked up the lyrics.
I was utterly disappointed as I read the words along with the song. A song with a title like that has the opportunity to be a really great song about how women aren't property and all that, but this song did the complete opposite.
The persona uses "own" to show his material possessions, and he appears to be a pretty well-off individual.
I own this river, I own this town
All of its climbers and its wino's sliding down
But I can't own her and I never will
So far so good, right? But then that last line that finishes off the phrase group:
No I can't own her and that's a bitter pill
I got a little uncomfortable at that point. It might be something I could have overlooked, but I decided to think about what exactly the persona is saying.
He's saying "Look at all these things I have! I own a lot of cool, material things!" And then he's saying that he "can't own her", which is right, because he can't. Women are human beings, not property, not material things, not a river or a town, but people. There are societies around the world and throughout history in which women actually are/were property of men, and it's something we have had to fight against, and still do. [See this recent post at SocioImages for, well basically everything I just said.] No, persona of that song, you can not own a woman.
But what else is he saying? He's saying "I want to own her". He's not saying he can't from some feminist or humanist stand-point; it seems like he might be, until we see that fourth line. It's "a bitter pill", meaning something that gives him grief, that he can't own her.
Later in the song, it might seem like he's redeeming himself by saying:
And when I say I can't own her
I don't mean to buy her
It's nothing at all to do with money
I simply want her in my arms forever more.
Is that an odd request?
Is that something so funny?
But I don't think that's really redemption for him at all. He says, of course, that he doesn't mean "own" in a master-possession sort of relationship, which means we should give him a break, right? Wrong. That's the power of words. There are words for what he wants to do, or hopefully wants to do, with this woman - he could love her, he could marry her, he could be her devoted partner or friend, he could even keep her in a cage in his basement [but that's a very, very serious issue that is not so related to this post] - but he chooses "own", a word infused with political and personal tension.
He never says "love" in this song, or any word related to it. He says words of ownership like "want" and "own" and "have" and "thing". So even though he assures us this has "nothing at all to do with money", his fantasy of ownership and dominance shines through, and that's probably why the girl isn't interested in the first place.
Thumbs down.
So tomorrow is St. Valentine's Day. In the spirit of that wonderful holiday, I've decided to write a blog entry - that, and I'm embarrassed that, not only has Bryan written since the last time I have, but Will has written twice. Lol.
This is the story of Saint Valentine, as remembered by me, as told by other people, and supplemented with probably much truer facts from Wikipedia.
According to Wikipedia, "Saint Valentine (in Latin, Valentinus) is the name of several martyred saints of ancient Rome. The name "Valentine", derived from valens (worthy), was popular in Late Antiquity. Of the Saint Valentine whose feast is on February 14, nothing is known except his name and that he was buried at the Via Flaminia north of Rome on February 14. It is even uncertain whether the feast of that day celebrates only one saint or more saints of the same name."
The story that I remember comes from my pastor. She told us that Valentine was imprisoned and sentenced to death. During all of his imprisonment, he wrote copious amounts of love letters to his family and friends, expressing his undying love for all of them, and probably some other things like how boring it was to sit in prison all day. And he probably mentioned God a few times, as well. The idea is, acccording to my pastor, that we celebrate St. Valentine's Day on the anniversary of his death to honour not only his outstanding love for all around him, but God's love for all of us and our love for each other.
How true is that story? I'm sure that the Wikipedia research I am about to do will address that... [all of the following facts come from here.]
The feast of St. Valentine was first established in 496 by Pope Gelasius I, who included Valentine among those "... whose names are justly reverenced among men, but whose acts are known only to God." As Gelasius implied, nothing was known, even then, about the lives of any of these martyrs. The Saint Valentine that appears in various martyrologies in connection with February 14 is described either as:
- A priest in Rome,
- A bishop of Interamna (modern Terni), or
- A martyr in the Roman province of Africa.
The first time we really hear any sort of story about him, or see a picture, is 1493 in the Nuremburg Chronicle. He was imprisoned by Claudius II, or Claudius Gothicus when he discovered that Valentine was aiding Christians, who were, at the time, persecuted, in Rome. During his imprisonment, apparently Claudius "took a liking to this prisoner" , but when he tried to convert Claudius, he was sentenced to death. He was beaten, stoned, and beheaded, somewhere around 269, 270, or 273.
English eighteenth-century antiquarians Alban Butler and Francis Douce, noting the obscurity of Saint Valentine's identity, suggested that Valentine's Day was created as an attempt to supersede the pagan holiday of Lupercalia. This idea has lately been contested by Professor Jack Oruch of the University of Kansas. Many of the current legends that characterise Saint Valentine were invented in the fourteenth century in England, notably by Geoffrey Chaucer and his circle, when the feast day of February 14 first became associated with romantic love.
The official list of Catholic saints, the Roman Martyrology lists seven Saint Valentines, and the Russian Orthodox Church has more.
- a martyr (Roman priest or Terni bishop?) buried on the Via Flaminia (February 14)
- a priest from Viterbo (November 3)
- a bishop from Raetia who died in about 450 (January 7)
- a fifth-century priest and hermit (July 4)
- a Spanish hermit who died in about 715 (October 25)
- Valentine Berrio Ochoa, martyred in 1861 (November 24)
- Valentine Jaunzarás Gómez, martyred in 1936 (September 18)
The Legenda Aurea of Jacobus de Voragine, compiled about 1260 and one of the most-read books of the High Middle Ages, gives sufficient details of the saints for each day of the liturgical year to inspire a homily on each occasion. The very brief vita of St Valentine has him refusing to deny Christ before the "Emperor Claudius" in the year 280. Before his head was cut off, this Valentine restored sight and hearing to the daughter of his jailer. Jacobus makes a play with the etymology of "Valentine", "as containing valour".
[The following facts come from here.]
Ultimately, his holiday was removed from the Catholic calendar because he was too unknown, but some groups of Catholics still celebrate his feast day in a religious context.
Legenda Aurea still providing no connections whatsoever with sentimental love, appropriate lore has been embroidered in modern times to portray Valentine as a priest who refused an unattested law attributed to Roman Emperor Claudius II, allegedly ordering that young men remain single. The Emperor supposedly did this to grow his army, believing that married men did not make for good soldiers. The priest Valentine, however, secretly performed marriage ceremonies for young men. When Claudius found out about this, he had Valentine arrested and thrown in jail. In an embellishment to The Golden Legend provided by American Greetings, Inc. to History.com and widely repeated, on the evening before Valentine was to be executed, he wrote the first "valentine" himself, addressed to a young girl variously identified as his beloved, as the jailer's daughter whom he had befriended and healed, or both. It was a note that read "From your Valentine."
So it would appear that my pastor's story was nothing but a faerie tale, but that's okay.
As I've been doing this 'research', I've noticed a lot of allusions to Chaucer, and now, it would appear, I am about to find out what, exactly, Chaucer may have done to create this chocolate and hearts holiday.
In his Parlement of Foules [Parliament of Fowls], a poem to commemorate the first anniverary of King Richard II of England to Anne of Bohemia, Chaucer wrote "For this was sent on Valentine's Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate." "Readers have uncritically assumed that Chaucer was referring to February 14 as Valentine's Day; however, mid-February is an unlikely time for birds to be mating in England. Henry Ansgar Kelly has pointed out that in the liturgical calendar, May 2 is the saints' day for Valentine of Genoa. This St. Valentine was an early bishop of Genoa who died around AD 307."
Chaucer's Parliament of Foules is set in a fictional context of an old tradition, but in fact there was no such tradition before Chaucer. The speculative explanation of sentimental customs, posing as historical fact, had their origins among eighteenth-century antiquaries, notably Alban Butler, the author of Butler's Lives of Saints, and have been perpetuated even by respectable modern scholars.
The bit about the Medieval period and the English Renaissance is also extremely interesting, and I just wish I could quote the whole thing, but that would be silly. Check it out; it mentions the "High Court of Love" established in Paris on 14 February, 1400 and love poems, the fact that Ophelia mentions the holiday in Hamlet [1600-1601], and John Donne using bird imagery in the same way that Chaucer did.
The late seventeen hundreds to early eighteen hundreds ushered in the wave of mailing pre-written Valentine's Day sentiments to women, and 1847 saw the first mass-produced valentines for sale in the United States.
The U.S. Greeting Card Association estimates that approximately one billion valentines are sent each year worldwide, making the day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year behind Christmas. The association estimates that, in the US, men spend in average twice as much money as women.
The article goes on to talk about Valentine's Day traditions in North America and England, and it has a section for Similar Days for Honouring Love all over the world.
But I love Valentine's Day. Obviously, I'm a huge fan of purple and pink and heart shapes and chocolate, so how could I go wrong? Not to mention getting letters and candy ;D But it's so much more than that. It's a day to celebrate love in all of its forms, and that is precisely how I spend it. It doesn't have to be about romantic love, and it doesn't have to be about "Singles Awareness Day" or any of that. Never having had a boyfriend does not mean I can't celebrate my love for so many other people. I love my friends and my family to death, and I wouldn't be who I am without them. That is why I celebrate Saint Valetine's Day.
It feels go to be reminded that somebody cares about you. With that in mind, go out and tell the people that you love that they matter to you! Tell your best friend or your mother or that hobo on the street that you love them! It can really brighten someone's day :D
♥ I love you!! ♥
