Heads Will Roll

So I spent the weekend at home. I really needed it, and it was pretty great.

I caught a train at 11:17 on Friday morning, after Euro. I tried to pack light this time ^-^ On the ride, I was able to completely finish my Euro essay/sermon about Charlemagne.

It was about 2:30 when I got in, and Jesson and Mum both met me at Newark Penn Station, where we wandered around and grabbed some lunch [I don't eat breakfast on Fridays, so that was good].

After that, Jesson had a chem lab, and I was still hungry, having not really eaten when we got lunch because I was promised an awesome early dinner. Mum and I drove back home, but the car was a little broken and the back door wouldn't shut all the way, so it was beeping the whole ride home. Mum was not amused. So after we got home, we stopped at the gas station and waited there for a really long time to see if they could fix the door, and they did. And then we were off to dinner!

We drove to Pane Vino, and I sort of really love that place ♥ Mum and I talked about Drew and stuff, and I got a pretty positive reaction from her that night, which made me optimistic. This opinion she held would change by Sunday afternoon.

After dinner, we went to Borders and "made out like bandits" as the saying goes. I can't believe it's closing! That's really unfair. That whole shopping centre is gone now - first Circuit City, previously my electronics store of choice, then Linens 'N Things, for those days when you didn't feel like driving all the way up to Bed Bath and Beyond, then Old Navy, one of my favourite clothing stores [luckily there's one in the mall], and finally, Borders, one of the best stores of all time. Yeah, angry face. So I bought some really cheap movies, books, and CDs: The Producers [old one, with Gene Wilder], and Much Ado About Nothing [Kenneth Brannagh, Robert Sean Leonard]; Cyrano de Bergerac - I hope it's a good translation lol; Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack, and The Rite of Spring and Petrushka by Stravinsky. Also some chocolates.

Finally, that evening, I called up Vigg and Jesson and we all went to see The Wolfman, with Benicio del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, and Hugo Weaving ♥♥♥ You'd think that with a cast like that the movie would be AMAZING, and it could have been. The acting - except SPOILER ALERT Benicio's death - was phenomenal by all parties, and the story, though slowly paced, was intriguing and gripping. And then there were fight scenes. The CGI was awful and the wolf prostetics looked like Jean Cocteau's 1946 La Belle et la Bête. It's 2010 now...

Not kidding.

And then we all went to our respective homes. Upon dropping Vigg off, we made tentative plans for the next night to see a movie, but that never happened. Back home, I online scrabbled with Vigg and DavidLi until I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.



So on Saturday I woke up at 8:15 because Mum told me she was leaving at 8:30. She didn't, but I said goodbye to her and went back to sleep. When I finally woke up again, it was about 10:30, I believe. I watched Jeopardy! recordings and I filled in a survey, and I also walked the dogs and spent some time dilly-dallying on the computer. I had a bowl of Raisin Bran for breakfast/lunch/meal, and I did some work.

Later, I called Dan, and we decided to go to a Vietnamese restaurant for dinner and then to go roller skating from 8-10. So I started asking other people if they wanted to come, too, but I didn't get many positive replies. I fed and walked the dogs, and then I went to pick Dan and Ying up, and we went. The service at the restaurant was pretty slow, and Dan said that the soup wasn't even that good. It was 9 before we got to go roller skating, but that was okay. It was amusing because Ying hadn't been in a really long time and they didn't have any blades in Dan's size so he had to get skates; watching them wobble around was SUPER FUN.

After that, we dropped Ying off and picked up Jesson. Still hungry, we went to the Golden Touch Diner. I got pancakes, Jesson got buffalo wings, and Dan got a super awesome Belgian Waffle Royale. I also had hot chocolate. Good meal!

We went back to my house and watched Sleepy Hollow, but Jesson had to leave very soon into it. Dan and I stuck out the rest of the movie, but we were very tired, and then I drove him home. I probably went right to sleep as soon as I got back. It was nice that no one was home, because I could sleep with my door open and let all the dogs in and out as they pleased. Most of them stayed on my bed the whole night, which is always adorable :3




On Sunday, Darcy kept coming in and purring and sleeping on my bed or on my stomach, but at one point Pippin growled at him and he never came back in again. When Mum got home, all the dogs left my room, and though I wanted to sleep more, I couldn't fall back asleep. I decided to take a really long, nice shower, the kind you don't get in college, and then I made the mistake of blow drying my hair. Oh, is it the eighties?

Mum and I went to Staples, where I bought such exciting things as pencil lead, rubber bands, post-it notes, and tape! And then we had brunch at the Original Pancake House, even though the line was SO LONG. The crêpes were great, as usual [not real crêpes, but still really good for whatever they are]. We then went to Marshall's to buy a small weekend bag [I'm sick of either bringing my stuff home in a large suitcase or in a plastic bag], and then we bought bubble tea at Kam Man ♥.

We had only a short bit of time at home before my train was supposed to leave at 4:25. We got to the train station early, only to find that the train was approximately 1:45 late! AAAAAH. We sat in the station for two hours before the train came in - it left at 6:24, almost exactly two hours after it was supposed.

The train ride was interesting. I was in the quiet car all by myself, and the woman in front of me's phone went off. And then it went off again and she answered it. Then some jerk came over to me and said, "This is the quiet car; cell phone use is prohibited." He wasn't a conductor or anything, just some jerk. I meekly informed him, "I'm not the one on the phone, she is," gesturing to the woman in front of me, but he didn't say anything or care. He's one of those guys who like to pick on younger people to make themselves feel good, but he wouldn't dare confront an older person like the woman in front of me. He didn't even apologise. I bet he's a high school teacher. Well, seeing as I was having a pretty bad day, I started crying, by no fault of my own; I really couldn't help it and I did all I could to stop, but not after many tears rolled down my face. I hope he saw, that jerk. In New York a bunch of people got on the train, including this woman who was sitting next to me who wouldn't stop talking to me, despite being on the quiet car, despite the fact that I was reading The Prince, and despite the fact that my headphones were in. Annoying! And she wasn't even getting off until after me. Sigh.

So my train came in at 9:30 instead of 7:30, and I waited in the cold for half an hour for a taxi to show up. What a great evening.

That same night, I also found out that my roommate is sick with a stomach bug that according to the doctor is only contagious if we're sharing cups, etc., but according to the Internet is very contagious. Which brings me to where I am today, Tuesday: I'm sitting on the couch in the common room upon which I've just slept. I've barely been in my room for two days. YAY.

Eighteen days until Spring Break.

Why I Wish I Hadn't Used Up All My "Skips"

I was listening to Pandora, and my station is fairly complex by now - sort of like my crazy iPod - so I get a lot of weird songs that I end up "thumbs downing".

Tonight, a particular song came on called "I Can't Own Her" by XTC. I thought, now that's a good concept for a song! I could really like this song. So I looked up the lyrics.

I was utterly disappointed as I read the words along with the song. A song with a title like that has the opportunity to be a really great song about how women aren't property and all that, but this song did the complete opposite.

The persona uses "own" to show his material possessions, and he appears to be a pretty well-off individual.

I own this river, I own this town
All of its climbers and its wino's sliding down
But I can't own her and I never will

So far so good, right? But then that last line that finishes off the phrase group:

No I can't own her and that's a bitter pill

I got a little uncomfortable at that point. It might be something I could have overlooked, but I decided to think about what exactly the persona is saying.

He's saying "Look at all these things I have! I own a lot of cool, material things!" And then he's saying that he "can't own her", which is right, because he can't. Women are human beings, not property, not material things, not a river or a town, but people. There are societies around the world and throughout history in which women actually are/were property of men, and it's something we have had to fight against, and still do. [See this recent post at SocioImages for, well basically everything I just said.] No, persona of that song, you can not own a woman.

But what else is he saying? He's saying "I want to own her". He's not saying he can't from some feminist or humanist stand-point; it seems like he might be, until we see that fourth line. It's "a bitter pill", meaning something that gives him grief, that he can't own her.

Later in the song, it might seem like he's redeeming himself by saying:

And when I say I can't own her
I don't mean to buy her
It's nothing at all to do with money
I simply want her in my arms forever more.
Is that an odd request?
Is that something so funny?

But I don't think that's really redemption for him at all. He says, of course, that he doesn't mean "own" in a master-possession sort of relationship, which means we should give him a break, right? Wrong. That's the power of words. There are words for what he wants to do, or hopefully wants to do, with this woman - he could love her, he could marry her, he could be her devoted partner or friend, he could even keep her in a cage in his basement [but that's a very, very serious issue that is not so related to this post] - but he chooses "own", a word infused with political and personal tension.

He never says "love" in this song, or any word related to it. He says words of ownership like "want" and "own" and "have" and "thing". So even though he assures us this has "nothing at all to do with money", his fantasy of ownership and dominance shines through, and that's probably why the girl isn't interested in the first place.

Thumbs down.

Saint Valentine's Day 2010

So tomorrow is St. Valentine's Day. In the spirit of that wonderful holiday, I've decided to write a blog entry - that, and I'm embarrassed that, not only has Bryan written since the last time I have, but Will has written twice. Lol.

This is the story of Saint Valentine, as remembered by me, as told by other people, and supplemented with probably much truer facts from Wikipedia.

According to Wikipedia, "Saint Valentine (in Latin, Valentinus) is the name of several martyred saints of ancient Rome. The name "Valentine", derived from valens (worthy), was popular in Late Antiquity. Of the Saint Valentine whose feast is on February 14, nothing is known except his name and that he was buried at the Via Flaminia north of Rome on February 14. It is even uncertain whether the feast of that day celebrates only one saint or more saints of the same name."

The story that I remember comes from my pastor. She told us that Valentine was imprisoned and sentenced to death. During all of his imprisonment, he wrote copious amounts of love letters to his family and friends, expressing his undying love for all of them, and probably some other things like how boring it was to sit in prison all day. And he probably mentioned God a few times, as well. The idea is, acccording to my pastor, that we celebrate St. Valentine's Day on the anniversary of his death to honour not only his outstanding love for all around him, but God's love for all of us and our love for each other.

How true is that story? I'm sure that the Wikipedia research I am about to do will address that... [all of the following facts come from here.]

The feast of St. Valentine was first established in 496 by Pope Gelasius I, who included Valentine among those "... whose names are justly reverenced among men, but whose acts are known only to God." As Gelasius implied, nothing was known, even then, about the lives of any of these martyrs. The Saint Valentine that appears in various martyrologies in connection with February 14 is described either as:

• A priest in Rome,
• A bishop of Interamna (modern Terni), or
• A martyr in the Roman province of Africa.

The first time we really hear any sort of story about him, or see a picture, is 1493 in the Nuremburg Chronicle. He was imprisoned by Claudius II, or Claudius Gothicus when he discovered that Valentine was aiding Christians, who were, at the time, persecuted, in Rome. During his imprisonment, apparently Claudius "took a liking to this prisoner" , but when he tried to convert Claudius, he was sentenced to death. He was beaten, stoned, and beheaded, somewhere around 269, 270, or 273.

English eighteenth-century antiquarians Alban Butler and Francis Douce, noting the obscurity of Saint Valentine's identity, suggested that Valentine's Day was created as an attempt to supersede the pagan holiday of Lupercalia. This idea has lately been contested by Professor Jack Oruch of the University of Kansas. Many of the current legends that characterise Saint Valentine were invented in the fourteenth century in England, notably by Geoffrey Chaucer and his circle, when the feast day of February 14 first became associated with romantic love.

The official list of Catholic saints, the Roman Martyrology lists seven Saint Valentines, and the Russian Orthodox Church has more.

• a martyr (Roman priest or Terni bishop?) buried on the Via Flaminia (February 14)
• a priest from Viterbo (November 3)
• a bishop from Raetia who died in about 450 (January 7)
• a fifth-century priest and hermit (July 4)
• a Spanish hermit who died in about 715 (October 25)
• Valentine Berrio Ochoa, martyred in 1861 (November 24)
• Valentine Jaunzarás Gómez, martyred in 1936 (September 18)

The Legenda Aurea of Jacobus de Voragine, compiled about 1260 and one of the most-read books of the High Middle Ages, gives sufficient details of the saints for each day of the liturgical year to inspire a homily on each occasion. The very brief vita of St Valentine has him refusing to deny Christ before the "Emperor Claudius" in the year 280. Before his head was cut off, this Valentine restored sight and hearing to the daughter of his jailer. Jacobus makes a play with the etymology of "Valentine", "as containing valour".

[The following facts come from here.]

Ultimately, his holiday was removed from the Catholic calendar because he was too unknown, but some groups of Catholics still celebrate his feast day in a religious context.

Legenda Aurea still providing no connections whatsoever with sentimental love, appropriate lore has been embroidered in modern times to portray Valentine as a priest who refused an unattested law attributed to Roman Emperor Claudius II, allegedly ordering that young men remain single. The Emperor supposedly did this to grow his army, believing that married men did not make for good soldiers. The priest Valentine, however, secretly performed marriage ceremonies for young men. When Claudius found out about this, he had Valentine arrested and thrown in jail. In an embellishment to The Golden Legend provided by American Greetings, Inc. to History.com and widely repeated, on the evening before Valentine was to be executed, he wrote the first "valentine" himself, addressed to a young girl variously identified as his beloved, as the jailer's daughter whom he had befriended and healed, or both. It was a note that read "From your Valentine."

So it would appear that my pastor's story was nothing but a faerie tale, but that's okay.

As I've been doing this 'research', I've noticed a lot of allusions to Chaucer, and now, it would appear, I am about to find out what, exactly, Chaucer may have done to create this chocolate and hearts holiday.

In his Parlement of Foules [Parliament of Fowls], a poem to commemorate the first anniverary of King Richard II of England to Anne of Bohemia, Chaucer wrote "For this was sent on Valentine's Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate." "Readers have uncritically assumed that Chaucer was referring to February 14 as Valentine's Day; however, mid-February is an unlikely time for birds to be mating in England. Henry Ansgar Kelly has pointed out that in the liturgical calendar, May 2 is the saints' day for Valentine of Genoa. This St. Valentine was an early bishop of Genoa who died around AD 307."

Chaucer's Parliament of Foules is set in a fictional context of an old tradition, but in fact there was no such tradition before Chaucer. The speculative explanation of sentimental customs, posing as historical fact, had their origins among eighteenth-century antiquaries, notably Alban Butler, the author of Butler's Lives of Saints, and have been perpetuated even by respectable modern scholars.

The bit about the Medieval period and the English Renaissance is also extremely interesting, and I just wish I could quote the whole thing, but that would be silly. Check it out; it mentions the "High Court of Love" established in Paris on 14 February, 1400 and love poems, the fact that Ophelia mentions the holiday in Hamlet [1600-1601], and John Donne using bird imagery in the same way that Chaucer did.

The late seventeen hundreds to early eighteen hundreds ushered in the wave of mailing pre-written Valentine's Day sentiments to women, and 1847 saw the first mass-produced valentines for sale in the United States.

The U.S. Greeting Card Association estimates that approximately one billion valentines are sent each year worldwide, making the day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year behind Christmas. The association estimates that, in the US, men spend in average twice as much money as women.

The article goes on to talk about Valentine's Day traditions in North America and England, and it has a section for Similar Days for Honouring Love all over the world.



But I love Valentine's Day. Obviously, I'm a huge fan of purple and pink and heart shapes and chocolate, so how could I go wrong? Not to mention getting letters and candy ;D But it's so much more than that. It's a day to celebrate love in all of its forms, and that is precisely how I spend it. It doesn't have to be about romantic love, and it doesn't have to be about "Singles Awareness Day" or any of that. Never having had a boyfriend does not mean I can't celebrate my love for so many other people. I love my friends and my family to death, and I wouldn't be who I am without them. That is why I celebrate Saint Valetine's Day.

It feels go to be reminded that somebody cares about you. With that in mind, go out and tell the people that you love that they matter to you! Tell your best friend or your mother or that hobo on the street that you love them! It can really brighten someone's day :D

♥ I love you!! ♥

A New Year's Story

Now is the time to be pensive. New Year’s is a time for remembering the past and thinking about the future. I spent all of my New Year’s Day looking through my old pictures from 2007 – the first picture of the year, my birthday, Anna’s and Bryan’s and Julia’s sixteenth birthdays, my trip to China, my first marching band adventures, fencing. Before I got to the China part, awful memories came flooding back, filling my mind. My sixteenth birthday marked the beginning of the rapid decline of one of my best, truest, and most comfortable friendships, and after that date, things only got worse. I found myself thrown into an inescapable depression, despite the best efforts of other, wonderful friends, and I was never able to trust or love anyone so fully in the years that followed. During that time, all I can remember is unbelievable pain and confusion. My grades were slipping and my other friends were drifting away because I could not hold on to them; all of my energy was wasted trying to imagine what I had done wrong and what I could do to at least have her talk to me again, to smile at me when she walked by, or to at least stop pretending that I was just another object in the room. Sophomore year remains a black hole for me – I can recall very little of my academics, and though I made new friends, few of them stuck. This was the year that Oh! Gravity., the sixth Switchfoot album, came out, and after this dramatic turn of events, I fell to sitting by myself and finding refuge in lines like “All of my world hanging on your lies”. I became increasingly pessimistic about everything, and I lost any value I had had for myself. My way of thinking was that, if she couldn’t like me, how could anyone else? How could I? I think I’ve made my point very clearly: to say this was the low point of my high school career would be an extreme understatement. This person broke my heart, but also my trust, self-esteem, and self-worth.

But, as I was gathering photos from my past to compile for my scrapbook, I took a trip down memory lane. I was surprised to see how many photographs were filled with friends and smiling faces, and I realise that I let everyone around me down. It’s not my job to allow silly drama get to my head; no, I am the one who helps pull those around me out of its sticky claws. Friends, some who hadn’t even known me for more than a few months, tried their hardest to cheer me up, to remind me that life goes on, but I ignored them, and I stagnated in my own cesspool of self-pity and worthlessness. There has never been another time in my life during which I had been so self-centred and blind to the kindness of those who still remained by my side. I was actually surrounded by people who cared about me, but I was too wrapped up in the insignificant opinions of one girl to even notice.

That summer, though, everything changed. I needed it to. I changed my appearance dramatically, cutting and styling my hair in a way that was so different from anything I’d ever attempted before, and I bought new, thick-rimmed glasses that made me look like an entirely different person. I didn’t feel different, though. I went to China and made amazing friends and memories. It was truly the trip of a lifetime. I joined marching band, too, and even devoted my entire summer to learning a new instrument, and I became closer with many band geeks with whom I’d already been friendly, and met even more fantastic people. I got a job and started ballroom dancing! I remembered that I had a life to live, and that I didn’t need that one person to live it – I’d survived the first thirteen years of my life without her, after all. Grades, self-esteem, and social vitality all rose from the deepest depths, when I never thought they could.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that 2007 was not as awful a year as I’ve always remembered it to be. Instead, I learned how to fight for my self-worth, how to adapt, and that I didn’t need people who were going to hurt and belittle me in my life. Three of my best friendships, Dan, Jesson, and Andrew, were all kindled during that heart-wrenching year, and it is truly a blessing and an honour to be able to have them in my life, as cheesey as that may sound. Perhaps, if the dreadful things that passed in those early months of the year hadn’t, I would never have created these three strong, life-saving bonds. And I don't hate her. Maybe I need to be thankful. Maybe I need to say, “*********, thank you for breaking my heart, because, in your attempt to hurt, confuse, belittle, and destroy me, I learned some things about myself. I learned that I have power beyond your control, and I learned how to love other people and myself, and I learned that I can survive. And that is the best gift you ever have – or ever could have – given me. Thank you.”

I know that it’s a cheesey song, but it really is a confidence booster for me when these little self-esteem nightmares, rooted in this incident, start to set in. I always remember Gloria Gaynor’s immortal I Will Survive, sung with all the gutsy confidence in the world.

First I was afraid, I was petrified / Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side / But I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong / and I grew strong, and I learned how to carry on.

It took all the strength I had not to fall apart / kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart / and I spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself / I used to cry, but now I hold my head up high / and you see me, somebody new / I'm not that chained up little person, still in love with you

Go on now go, walk out the door / just turn around now, 'cause you're not welcome anymore / weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye / you think I'd crumble, you think I'd lay down and die / Oh no, not I / I will survive/ as long as i know how to love I know I’ll stay alive / I've got all my life to live / I've got all my love to give / And I'll survive, I will survive.

But it is 2010 now. They say that it takes at least ten years for historians to really start being able to analyse an event that would make history, because until that point, they are not removed enough from all that’s transpired. And yet, it’s almost surprising that it took me this long to really come to terms with what had happened then, which is now almost three years ago. I don’t know what to say about 2009, because it is still fresh in my memory – after all, it only ended three days ago. It was another year of great change: I turned eighteen, I dyed my hair purple, I started reading for fun consistently again, and I went to college. I made friends, I lost friends, and I grew closer to other friends, and I stopped having trouble being one hundred percent, completely me.

As for my future, I can’t say. My hopes are that I remain close with the people I’ve met this year and the people whom I’ve had to leave in this last year. I want to be able to be a best friend again. I want to continue to record my life in writing and in photographs, and I want to continue to educate myself on anything and everything. I finally feel like I have a fair balance, for the most part, and I want to keep that, and make it stronger. Those are all my hopes; of course, there are little things, like get good grades, etc., but these are the things that I consider the most important because they have been a part of my life, a part of me, in the past, and they really feel right, so I need to work hard to keep them a part of me in the future.

I hope the new year brings you peace of mind, and that you can resolve the be optimistic and try to salvage any bad situation fate may throw your way. Take it from someone who has been there, it’s better that way.

It's Monday So I Will Write

And now for another installment of 'guess what silly thing I did today'.

I skipped showering last night because by Sunday night, the showers are mad disgusting. I went to my classes, and got out at 2:30, ready to take an awesome, clean shower. So I hopped into the stall and did my stuff.

As I was getting out, I remember remarking upon the fact that I hadn't shed so much as usual, and wow, look how little time I took, even though I washed my hair.

And then I went back to my room. I got dressed, and then I started brushing my hair.

Ew. What is this white stuff coming out with every stroke?

Shoot.

So back in the shower, to rinse off the conditioner, which I had left on the whole time and forgotten to rinse before actually getting out the first time.

*Bow*




Completely unrelatedly... I am really excited! Today was the first meeting ever for a brand new, coming-this-spring club at my college: Conn Garde!
[If you didn't guess by the really lamey pun title, it's a fencing club!!!]

I've been missing fencing so much. This is the weather and the sorts of days that I have been fencing in for the last four years, and days seem a little empty without it. Like, what's the last week of summer without marching band camp and/or cramming summer reading? Same, weird feeling.

It was just an informational meeting, to see who's interested, etc. The club needs to be approved and get funding for the spring term before we can do anything, really. But just the idea that this might happen [and that I'm not the one who has to go through the headache to organise all this, thank you so much mysterious organisers!] is so exciting!




This weekend was fairly bizarre for me. I got back from Boston on Thursday morning, as I've written, so Thursday was a long and sleepy day, and Friday just seemed to be an extension of that. I kept messing up my days of the week because of the trip [feels like such a weekend thing to do, lol], and when there were no classes on the weekend, I was pretty confused.

I went Christmas shopping on Friday afternoon at the Crystal Mall. I've presents for Dan, Bo, Kelsey, Wendy, Andrea, Ariana, Najam, and also for Mum, sister, Sara [mailed that today], Liam, and Paula. I will get other Livingstoners' once I'm back home. On Friday night, we had Ballroom Club, but I really wasn't in it that night. Plus it was samba, which I suck at / don't love. After that, though, Dan and I ended up watching Paprika, because I had only ever seen the first half and Dan K. back home always speaks so highly of it. Trippy movie, man. It makes your brain kind of confused.

I dedicated much of the rest of the weekend to actually accomplishing things, because I felt so unaccomplished due to that concert. I wrote a song [it's pretty awesome] for music theory, and I compiled my presentation for gender & society, which is on ads. I also skipped Sunday Sundae [aaaugh why!?] because it was too cold to bother to walk to dinner. [Bad reason. Stupid.]



Today was a fairly chill day. In gender & society, I just had to watch other people's presentations [which, in turn, made me think about how to make mine better, yey!]. In German, we had a review session, clearing up a lot of issues with the cases [English speakers, be so glad we don't really have dative and accusative cases and gendered nouns! AAH SCARY!]. I fell asleep during lunch, and then in music theory I performed my piece on the clarinet, and two other people's. Then I just got to sit back and listen as everyone else performed theirs [or had someone else do it]. And then that is when the shower story occurred.

I had dinner down in south tonight, and when I came back, I fell asleep again. Meh. Why? I don't know. It's not like I haven't been sleeping or anything. Oh well. And then I went to the fencing meeting!



So last night, Sunday night, was pretty eventful. We had a cookie decorating party in the common room at eight, and an all-house meeting at nine, and then Dan taught me how to play Diplomacy. I haven't played yet, but I've been taught the rules, and I am prepared for the big games both Dans have awaiting for me in the January and February months... *eep!*

And then we went to sleep.

And then it was 4:30, and I rolled over so that I was no longer facing the wall in my sleep. I probably wouldn't have woken up, but I heard someone shuffling around on a mattress. My initial reaction was that it was one of my roommates, but it sounded like it was coming from more-or-less below me, rather than over there or over there, so I roll a little more and peer over the edge of my bed.

And there's a body there.

I mean, on a mattress, asleep. But still. In the darkness, I couldn't figure out who it was at first and my brain was so confused. I tried to go back to sleep, but my brain kept saying, "There's a person over there!" and I kept rolling back over and staring at him for seconds at a time. I figured out it was Dan, but I still had no clue how he got there, or how I'd slept through it, since he'd clearly dragged in a mattress from student storage on which to sleep.

I asked him in the morning. Apparently, the heat in his room doesn't work, so his roommate is pretty sick now. He was going to sleep in the common room, but Wendy saw him, long after Kelsey and I had gone to bed, and she invited him to stay in our nice, warm room.

But I'm still wondering how I didn't wake up.



This was a very non-linear post. Welcome to the inside of my mind... this was more like my diary than anything I've ever written here.




If you are interested, the most recent posts at Not Studying are:

• Heroes from 26 October
• Fringe from 12 November.
• A Study In Scarlet

And the newest additions here are:

• Switchfoot
• Thanksgiving
• Busy!
• Boston

An Evening With Switchfoot

In this needle and haystack life
I found miracles there in your eyes
It's no accident we're here tonight
We are once in a lifetime

Yesterday at 2:26, I sped out of my Music Theory class and ran up to my room to grab my backpack, packed to the limit, but not heavy, and a plastic bag and umbrella. I went to the common room and donned my scarf and coat, said goodbye to Dan, and caught a cab. I arrived at the train station early enough, and the northbound train was five-to-ten minutes late, any way. I stood on the platform, once again grateful that I hadn't missed it, and ready for an adventure. Never had I taken the northbound out of New London, and I was anxious to see where it would take me.

I got to read my book for a while, which was somewhat frightening, actually. The novel is set in the post-apocalypse, and during winter, and it had snowed yesterday.... a lot. At one point, I looked up from the text for the first time in a while, and I looked out the window on the opposite side of the train, only to see mounds of dirt, covered in a dirty snow, and shrouded in a mist. There were no people, no birds. To look up and see the very thing you've been reading about is extremely scary, especially in this case, given the subject matter of The Road.

I arrived at Boston's South Station at quarter-to-five. I took the Red Line T to Park Street, and then I took the Green Line to Blanford Street, and then I got to go to Sara's dorm! Yay! I met her roommate, and then I called Liam, and then Sara and I walked to Warren Towers for dinner.

That cafeteria was so awesome - it was really huge and had a fun sort of style to it. I met Sara's friend, Devon*, who had a really awesome Totoro bag.



After dinner, we went back to Sara's dorm because I needed to get my ticket, and Liam had forgotten to print his! It took him much longer than it really should have to print it, and we got a bus up to the Paradise Rock Club.

There was no coat check in the club, so we stashed our coats and scarves behind an out-of-the-way rubbish bin.

And then Switchfoot came on.

Oh.

My.

Gosh.

The concert was amazing. I was stuck behind a lot of tall people, but that didn't stop me from loving every second of it.



For the first half, they played their new album, Hello Hurricane, from track one to twelve. Then they took a ten minute break, and came back on stage to play songs from their older six albums. They told the audience to either tweet them with suggestions, or if they couldn't do that, to throw suggestions on stage, or something. They played a lot of wonderful songs, but they didn't play 'Gone'. Oh well, it's not like I'm not in love with every other song they played! =D



Switchfoot, as a band, are really great performers. Jon especially. They all have a lot of fun, and they involve the audience and sort of invite them to join in the fun. The lighting and effects are also very ....effective. Of all their concerts I've been to, I think the Oh! Gravity tour was probably the most fun, because that is the loudest, funnest album, in my opinion. I'm not saying it's the best, but it is a lot of fun. The only problem with Switchfoot playing this entire album is that it is a very sombre album. I did not, in any way, dislike standing there and listening to this amazing music, but I know that many people prefer the fast, upbeat music if they are listening to it live, and I think Jon even said something along those lines about loving to play the happy songs, even though he has a hard time writing them. Don't get me wrong, though, it was very well done and totally worth everything.



I had a really amazing time, and I think Liam did, too. I wish I could say more about the show, really.



After the show was over, people started chanting 'one more song' and then the band came back on stage and... they actually played two more, lol.

Liam and I walked back to Sara's dorm. She brought him his laptop, which he'd left there, and then we said goodbye. Back in Sara's room, I stole two of her cookies [which she stole from the dining hall], and I teased her about not working on her paper, due today. And then I realised I'd never picked up my I.D. from the dining hall!



I slept on her floor between the two beds. I only woke up a few times in the night, which is surprising, but nice, and I woke up naturally at 6:50, and thought it was silly to try to sleep for the next ten minutes, so I got ready and was done by the time Sara got up. We had to walk back to Warren Towers to get my I.D. back, and then I took the Green Line T to Park Street, and then the Red Line to South Station, where I bought a chocolate croissant and milk, and then I found my Amtrak train.

As we pulled out of the station, I unwrapped my breakfast, and enjoyed it. Then I popped in my iPod headphones and took a nap for about forty minutes. Despite the uncomfortable conditions [leaning my back against that wall and window just hurt because of the arm rest...], it felt really good. When I woke up, the adorable Chinese kids sitting in front of me starting playing games with me, popping their heads over the top of the seat and around the side and then hiding again when I looked at them. I started making funny faces at them, too. Eventually, they started talking to me, and singing the ABCs at me. They asked me where I was going and I said, "New London," and they said they were going to New York. I told them I live near New York, and the girl said that they live in New York! but the boy said that he used to live in Singapore. Then they asked me my name, so I told them. I think they were possibly some of the cutest children I have ever spoken with. When I was leaving, they called down the aisle of the train "Bye Kathleen!" So cute.



Outside the station, a woman asked me where I was going, so I told her. She said she was, too, and wondered if I'd like to share a cab. At the end of the short cab ride, I was reaching into my wallet for my half of the cost of the ride, but she refused to let me pay! So I got a free ride back to school, yay!

So yes, it was pretty much a fantastic two days.


Check out the photos here.

Thanksgiving

On Tuesday I went home! Yay! It was awesome. Not really. Actually, my one class was cancelled, after weeks and weeks of the professor saying, "I'm not going to cancel class on Tuesday," so I didn't have anything to do until 3:00, and I could have taken the same train twenty-four hours earlier if I had only KNOWN. Ugh. Oh well. After being home for a very, very short while, Mum and I went to NYC to pick up Elisabeth!! Yay! And then, our super fantastic weekend began~



I woke up early on Wednesday, but Elisabeth didn't want to. Makes sense. Why be crazy like me, if you don't have to, right?

So I went to the high school that morning! I started the day in Mirsky's first period AP English, where we played the 'surrealist game'. Basically, everyone writes a question on a piece of paper, and then folds the paper so no one can see. Then they pass the paper on to someone else, and then everyone writes an answer on their new paper. Then, they read the combined question and answer and try to interpret it, lol. Mine was something like "Why are there no chipmunks here?!" and Vigg's fail answer was "Blue." But there was a funny one: "Where will ___ go to college?" "Pretty pretty rainbows".[I don't know the kid, so I don't think it's fair to publish his name, but they assure me he's pretty flamboyant and... yeah.]

Second period, I went to orchestra, and third I went to Madame Steffener's French class, and her son was there and he is SO CUTE. For fourth, I visited Dr. Walsh in AP Enviro, even though I have never taken that class myself. And then for fifth, I went to Gov, another class I have never taken. It took Mr. Safran a really long time to notice I was there. I went to band for sixth period and sat with Josh, texting Eric and confusing him about. For seventh, I got to go to 'my' Chinese class, and I ended up taking notes for Johnny. -.- Eighth was World Film, where we watched 400 Blows, and then I left.



After school, Elisabeth and I went to the Original Pancake House, and we were planning on meeting Bryan and Alex there, but they were slow and I had a dance lesson to go to. We ordered, and when our food arrived, so did Bryan and Alex, so we ate and talked to them. Then, when we had to leave, their food showed up. Funny, but it worked.

Then I went to my dance lesson, which, as always, was a lot of fun. I think Elisabeth was slightly impressed [Victor was in show-off mode, of course! Ugh!], but I was fairly embarrassed.

Then I had to go to the mall to get a haircut. I ACTUALLY LIKE IT and it's as short as I want it! I know, right? Lol.

<-- Me, plus new haircut, making a grumpy face ['cuz it was really late at night]. That night, we had dinner at Pane Vino, and then that's where the fun began. It started with kidnapping Vigg, and culminated with twelve-ish people watching THE FANTASTIC MR. FOX. That movie was fricken fantastic, as the name might suggest. If you haven't seen it, go see it now. If you have, well then go see it again.



After the movie, we went back to Bryan's house, where we played things and stayed up really late. And Vigg thought Arianna was a b-tard. And it was amazing and fun. Yay. ♥





Thanksgiving itself was pretty low-key. We woke up in time to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade [bizarre, as usual], and then we got ready to go to Aunt Mary's. I felt sorry for Elisabeth, having to repeat the 'I'm French, but I grew up in Tokyo, and now I'm at Middlebury, Vermont' speech so many times... We hung out until four, when we had dinner. This wast the first time we'd ever had dinner at the same time and the same table as the adults. But the Mahoneys weren't there, and neither was Uncle George & co., and the Maine McDonalds were MIA as well, of course. We were finished with dinner by five, and had dessert at six. By seven, we were ready for bed, and we left around 7:30, getting back at nine. At ten, we were sound asleep.





We had a lazy day after Thanksgiving. We both woke up relatively early - Elisabeth at eight and I at nine - because of our super early bed time. Well rested, we spent the day doing a little bit of nothing, and attempting to do homework. Notice the attempting.

Ying came over because she wanted to play violin with me. She'd brought some duets from anime, and one was from Tsubasa: Resevoir Chronicle, which is one of my favourites, and it was really cool to be able to play a song that I know. After she had to go, I just kept practising [once you pop the fun don't stop?].

Mum tried to fix her computer, but it turns out she needs a new hard drive [yay -.-], so we went to Best Buy. Elisabeth came too , because she wanted to see what it was like. We looked around the entire place, and I drooled over some gadgets and games I might enjoy, but most importantly, we found no hard drive for Mum. She'll have to order one online... for which she'll need a computer... yay?

At 6:30, we went to Arianna's house for her After-Thanksgiving-Day Party [or, You're Welcome Day Bash], and I brought the chocolate cake Mum had made. A lot of people were there, including Bryan, Greg, Kenny, Kim, Virginia, Cassie, Lori, and Justina and Stephanie, so it was really awesome. I was happy to see them all, and I feel like, if it weren't for this, I wouldn't have seen most of them this weekend. Dinner was wonderful - everything was homemade from scratch! - and so was Mum's chocolate cake.



Elisabeth and I left at midnight and went to bed soon after.



Saturday was the day that Elisabeth and I had arranged to meet Kristen, our mutual friend from Explo who lives near me, and so I really have no excuse for not seeing her for over a year. Mum made scones when Elisabeth and I woke up, so we were well fed for the morning. At twelve, we went to the Short Hills mall to meet Kristen at the California Pizza Kitchen, and we watched her eat lunch. Then we went shopping for a little while. The Gap was having a great sale, and all t-shirts were only ten dollars [including those men's waffle shirts I'd paid so much for before!!], so I bought two, a red waffle shirt, and a purple and black striped shirt. Kristen eventually had to leave [*sadface*], but Elisabeth wanted warm pajamas, so we went to Macy's. There, we found super soft and fluffy bathrobes and we each bought one. Leaving, she asked me, "How do you call this warm fluffy thing we just bought?" I don't know why, but I thought that was cute, lol.



After the mall, Jesson wanted to hang out. He originally suggested seeing Ninja Assassin, but that looked really crummy, and movies in Livingston are so expensive... So did all the other movies nearby, and The Road and Men Who Stare At Goats were just too far away. We agreed to rent a movie instead. I brought Elisabeth to Jesson's house, where we looked through five or more photo albums. We drove to Eric's house - our first successful Eric-napping! - and then to Blockbuster, which is going out of business [*sadface*]. I bought There Will Be Blood and some half-price popcorn, and Elisabeth bought Atonement and Speed Racer, and the guys bought Speed Racer [blu-ray], Superbad, some anime, and something else... Back at my house, Mum made us rice and chili, and then we watched Superbad in my room. During the course of the movie, Sara, Greg, Tara, and Pascal all made their way to my house, too, but Greg and Tara left.



When the movie was over, Greg wanted us to come hang out at Littel People's Park with them, so we walked there. We were almost to the parking lot when Greg calls me and says they'd left already. What? Sorry, but aren't you supposed to call before you decide to leave, if you're expecting people? He said they were going to Riker Hill Art Park, so we walked back to my house, got my car, drove to Jesson's house to get Oli's car, and called Greg again, but he'd left the art park and was going to Eddie's house. No, that was a party I just would not crash. So we ended up at Wendy's [fast food] instead.



Sunday was the 'chill' day. Or at least it was supposed to be. Elisabeth and I woke up, took long showers [because we won't get another as comfortable for three weeks], and ate breakfast. I did my laundry, and we packed. Then we made a last minute, spontaneous trip up Route 10 to Kam Man to get bubble tea.

After that was when it stopped being chill.

We drove Elisabeth to New York City for her 2:45 bus. We thought leaving at 1 was plenty early. Good thing we did, because there was so much traffic around Weehawken and the Lincoln Tunnel. Finally, we stopped at where her bus was supposed to be - it was 2:30 at this point! - and it wasn't there yet. So she and I got out and looked around; we found some of her friends from school, I said good bye and went back to find Mum's car. It wasn't there. I stood in the spot where she'd left me for half an hour, and I even tried calling her but she left her phone at home. I was quite upset. She found me after almost thirty minutes.

Then we drove down to Newark. The traffic wasn't nearly as bad on the way out. We were about an hour early for my train, so we stopped at a CVS and bought a water bottle and a Butterfinger for the ride.

When we got to Penn Station [Newark], we wanted to sit down, so we went up to the track on which my train was supposed to come in. The television board told us that the train was delayed twenty minutes, but when a train pulled in only five minutes late, Mum was convinced it was mine and sent me off. A conductor told me I was going the wrong way! South! To Newark Airport! AAAH! I asked him what I should do, and he said to get off at the next stop and find a train to NYC. That's what I did, but the next wasn't until 5:03, and it was only about 4:40. I frantically called my mother, even though I knew she didn't have her phone [!!!] and left her a message telling her my predicament, when what do I see but a train pulling in on the opposite track labelled 'Amtrak'. Well, I might as well try my luck. I asked a conductor where this train was headed and he said it was the one I was supposed to be on, so I got on at the very last second. Thank goodness it was so much delayed, otherwise, I would never have gotten back to school.


Back at school, I fooled around with Kelsey, Ariana, and Dan. It was very amusing - poor Kelsey! If I ever need to blackmail her, I'm pretty much set... Haha.



On Monday night, we had a potluck. And it was amazing. Yay! And then Kelsey wrote a letter to my German teacher about how amazing his photocopying skills are.



And, as always, you can check out all of the photos on Facebook.